Week Five of The Apprentice has been my favourite of the series so far.

Lord Sugar met the candidates in a coach park and announced they would be organising day trips for tourists. Summit planned a tour to Hever Castle in Kent, while Team Tenacity chose Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire, birthplace of Sir Winston Churchill.

The tourists were expecting an educational day out, led by top business professionals. Instead, Summit’s group got James. Previously, Lord Sugar had called James a ‘Grade A pillock’, but his performance last Wednesday lifted him far beyond that. Over the course of his coach journey, he dressed up, played the clown, ran out of time, got lost and, worst of all, forced the tourists into singing ‘The Wheels on The Bus’. By the end they were pleading with him to stop, and one woman described it as ‘torture’.

Head on the chopping block - Jemma Bird. Image courtesy of the BBC.

So far, burlesque dancer Jemma Bird had blended into the background. I only remembered her for having an annoyingly good haircut. But Wednesday saw her step into the limelight. She led a clumsy tour of Anne Boleyn’s home, telling tourists that Boleyn and Henry VIII had ‘grown apart’ – something Lord Sugar described as a bit of an understatement. By contrast, Tenacity team member Lauren was very impressive with her knowledge of Blenheim Palace, memorised only the night before.

James survived – amazingly Sanjay didn’t bring him back into the boardroom for the firing. Jemma got the bullet after saying, ‘I’m always the girl who nearly wins’. With a lame motto like that she’s better off burlesque dancing as far as I’m concerned!